Kenisha: World Traveler!

So after my winter camp, I was busy scampering around southeast Asia for a bit more than three weeks. We went to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam and I can honestly say that it was the most amazing experience of my life. Let's recap:

Countries: 3
Days: 23
Travelers: 4
Distance travelled: 9,934 km (for Americans, 6,203 miles)
Average temperature during vacation in SEA: 95*F
Average temperature during vacation in Korea: 10*F
Scheduled flights: 4
Unexpected flights: 2
Ridiculously long bus rides: 3
Overnight trains: 2
Cruises: 1
Vehicles which broke down on us: 4
Buddhist monks: hundreds, but still not enough
Times I freaked out after seeing a monk: hundreds, but still not enough
Pounds gained: 4
Pounds I regret gaining: 0
Tarantulas I saw: 3 too many
Number of hotels: 9
New bags I had to buy because I bought too much random stuff: 1
Thai fisherman pants: 2
Harem pants: 2
Cheesy tourist shirts: 4
Pad Thais consumed: 9
Hours spent in the Beijing airport: 10
Elephants ridden: 1
Peices of clothes I got tailor made: 3
Pairs of shoes I got tailor made: 3
Price of all clothes + shoes: $200
Red Zao (Vietnamese minority tribe) outfits purchased: 1
Fire shows where the performer's clothes caught on fire: 2
Sunrises watched: 2
Price for the entire trip: priceless (love you Mastercard)

While the trip was absolutely amazing, Cambodia blew both Vietnam and Thailand right out of the water. I'll write about each country later (in order of which I liked the most) and I'll have pictures too, but I just thought I'd whet your appetitive!

Love you
xx Kenisha

KISSING! WHAT!

I owe everyone a million "I'm Sorrys" for being so MIA with the blog lately. I had an outrageously lazy winter camps, went traveling for awhile, and have been doing nothing but watching Friends since I've been back (have you ever seen it? I just started 3 weeks ago, and this show is hilarious). Nevertheless, I'll tell everyone what I've been up to lately. This will probably take up a few posts but nevertheless, let's do this chronologically...

I did two winter camps: (1) listening-based, and (2) conversation-based. The listening-based class was rather interesting, to say the least. I tried to do a bit of listening here and there with the book, but mostly had them play games based on topics, make ice cream, and sing relevant/interesting English songs - because, cmon, that's what I'd like to do to learn a new language. I was rather impressed by how much more confident my kids had gotten and some of their English had improved even after only two weeks (go Kenisha, go Kenisha go!). Second away from breaking my arm from patting myself on the back so hard, a student COMPLAINED ABOUT ME. What would she complain about you ask? My outlandish good looks? Too much fun? NO! She wanted to study more. Korea is borderline crazy when it comes to school/work. After winter vacation I spent a week discussing what students had done over vacation, and 98% of my students said that "studying and going to hagwon" was one of the number one thing they did (hagwon is afterschool school; so after school finishes, they go to hagwon until about 11:00pm where they study even MORE ... this starts when they're in kindergarden and goes until college). One student studied English for more than 8 hours. Every. Single. Day. There are few things you can make me do for more than 8 hours a day-- one is listening to Frank Sinatra, and the other being, well, sleeping. I wondered, are these kids really improving? The answer is a resounding ... NO! For instance, my overly studious student was still unable to hold a conversation with me, even when I spoke in my simplist and slowest English. She could probably recite every single dialogue from the textbook, but ask her to describe her city or the weather, and past "its nice" and she's drawing a blank. It'd idiotic, me thinks.

So I took a step back and really looked at the education system here. Almost any foreigner who spends more than two months here would agree that their system is seriously problematic. I show videos of really common things (shark attacks, bungee jumping, beatboxing, etc.) and they freak out because its something that most of them have never seen. WHAT. I know they have all three of these things in our province alone. I showed a Taylor Swift (what? I teach middle school) video the other day which involved kissing and my students flipped. Not only can they not fathom kissing, but they couldn't even look at the television screen. While this is probably a good thing (no one likes teen pregnancy) these kids are seriously sheltered which can't be good. There is also an outrageous amount of pressure on these kids. The month following KSAT (which is the entrance exam for college, and what students work their entire life for) is calling "Rain Month" because so many people ... kill themselves by jumping off the building. Its not completely unheard of for parents to kill themselves and everyone else in their family because a child doesn't perform well on the exam. Two of my own students were caught at the last minute trying to kill themselves because they had done poorly on their finals. They are only 14. FOURTEEN. When I was fourteen I was focusing on swim practice, what jeans to wear tomorrow, and what mall I'd wander with my friends that weekend. School should be important but I mean, cmon, this can't be healthy. Don't get me wrong it has its positive attributes: students are super smart (my third graders are already learning calculus), dedicated and motivated to levels that are far too uncommon in American classrooms.

Enough ranting, to my conversation class... I will never have more respect for my Chinese conversation teacher ever again. My class was, wait for it, THREE HOURS of conversation class. This is a difficult feat when you actually speak the language, let alone can barely hold a conversation about weekend plans. Nevertheless, my kids were amazing and on the last day we had a proper pizza party, where they got me a cake and we watched "Devil Wears Prada." Unemotional Kenisha even welled up a little!

Anyway, I got a new camera so I'll be able to post more photos now PLUS I have tons of photos from my Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam trip!

I'll post more stuff later,
Love you all!!
xx Kenisha

Really, I kid you not...

So, this wouldn't be a true Korean blog unless I talked about ... dun dun dun ... FAN DEATH.

Fan death, for those who are unaware, is a Korean urban legend reality. According to Koreans, fans are serious culprits in some heinous deaths. If you leave a fan on for too long you will die from one of two things:

1. hypothermia, because the fan will lower the temperature in the room so low that you freeze to death

and/or

2. suffocation, as the fan will take out all the oxygen in the room, and you won't be able to breath.

If you're thinking "Hey, we have some weird superstitions in America too" then take my word for it, they don't compare. There was never a New York Times article on the death of seven due to walking under a ladder or breaking a mirror and getting bad luck. There have, however, been very serious articles in Korean news papers about the perils of untimed fan usage.

Silly Koreans ...

We also got over a foot of snow in the last two days, and in true Korean fashion we had NO SNOW DAYS. When it comes to education, Koreans don't mess.

Love/miss you all, ^^*

I'm ashamed to be doing this...

And I don't want anyone to think that I've become one of "those bloggers" BUT I couldn't resist...

"Treeless Mountain" I must say is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. And, HEY, it's Korean. Its about as accurate a portrayal of Korean life as, say, Precious is for the US but its really good. Let's see: adorable Korean kids, interesting non-Seoul views of Korea, "modern" Korea, cute kids, and did I mention, cute kids? Just take my word for it, its a grand film, so I recommend watching it, and thinking of me!!

It has snowed a foot today, and its only 5:00pm.

Love, ^^*

Dr. G would be proud... kinda

So friends, I've hit a roadblock. It's about that time when everyone warned me I'd start getting antsy about Korea. Don't get me wrong, I still love it here, but in an attempt to show you exactly how I'm feeling, I'm gonna lay it all out for you:

Things I hate

1. First and foremost, a lack of US POLITICS. I mean, this is all expected but its really wearing me down. Screw the scandal and intrigue, I just want to have an intellectual conversation about parliamentary procedure and Justice Thomas's inability to properly judge.

2. The inability to find any folded or salt and vinegar potato chips. Anyone who knows me knows when the going gets tough, I function in disaster finish in style with the help of potato goodness. This may seem small, but trust me, when your stress only has one cure which can't be found in an ENTIRE country, you go a little crazy. Let's add: kosher pickles to that list. You can find pickles everywhere, but they're all sweet. They're aside to nearly every dish and inevitably I'll get excited for some pickles and I'm let down. every. single. time. Also: Reeses and champagne.

3. Being a woman. Korea is a wildly chauvinistic and misogynistic country. Don't assume that just because I can give birth that I'm dumber than you or that I care to cook you a meal.

4. Korean food. This is a love/hate, but ask me right now if I'd enjoy some red bean or chili paste and I'd nearly spit in your face. Korean food is delicious, don't get me wrong -- but unless you're going to Seoul, Korean food is your only option. There are a lot of different Korean foods, but I'm dying for some Thai or Ethiopian.

5. Complete lack of planning. Korea is super dynamic to the point and everything is done at the very very very last minute. Makes me want to rip my hair out. As an east-coaster I like to plan, and the more in advance the better! Korea does not plan, and if they do, 9 times out of 10 it will be totally wrong/inaccurate. For instance, last week was my last week of school. On the schedule we were supposed to come in for closing ceremonies on Thursday, but some of my coteachers had said we had no school. I kept asking my main coteacher if this was true, but he couldn't give me a straight answer until Wednesday afternoon at 1pm! How do you not know if we have to come into school the next day? In the same vein, no one told me if I would have any English camps this winter until 4 days before school was over (!) Thanks for the heads up.

6. No manly men. Korean men are loving, generous, kind, amazing and all that good stuff, but I haven't seen a big, burly football-playing man over 6'2'' in about 4 month. I'm starting to forget what they look like.

7. Korean drivers. Hey, maybe it's a good idea that you don't watch TV, or talk on your cell phone, OR, better yet, watch TV on your cell phone... while you drive. Thanks Mr. taxi/bus driver man, because me, and my friends, would rather not die today on this winding road while it monsoons.

Things I love

1. Being a woman. While women don't get too much credit/respect here, they also run this country (any Korean man, however, would tell you otherwise). Korea stands alone among East Asian countries when it comes to women -- females here are known to be strong-willed and independent and its not unusual to see a little old lady working the farming fields while her lazy husband sits back. This isn't because he's putting her to work, but because Korean women are, well, badasses. It's nice to watch women living in a country where they have been oppressed for so long, rising up against The Man. Also, contrary to my feminist nature, sometimes it comes in handy even when its putting me down. For instance, I don't have to be peer pressured into downing massive amounts of soju and staying up until 4am ON A WEEKDAY and I can get away with making foolish mistakes. Thank you small brain.

2. Korean friendships. Koreans take friendship pretty seriously (and love, but that's another story). Most Koreans have few close friends, but when they do they will bend over backwards AND take a bullet for you (include other cliches here). Friendships in America are all well and good, but Koreans are on another level. They really take care of their friends here to a degree that is lacking in most westerners.

3. Korean students. They study 18/7 (literally), yet always have a smile on their face and are happy about life. Ask an American student to study, oh, 5 hours in a WEEK and they would shank you right then and there.

4. NUDITY! Now, we all know that I'm one of the few dozen never nudes (see you at the conference?) but I can still appreciate a good nude. On someone else. Korean are really comfortable with themselves. They aren't self-conscious or uncomfortable in their own skin, and that is something that I think most American can't say. Our new favorite activity is going to a jimjilbang (a traditional Korean bathhouse - more on that later) which is, essentially, hundreds of naked Koreans running around enjoying saunas and hot tubs together. Obviously, they're sex-separated but both myself and a fellow Brit are still too uncomfortable in our own skins to strip down to our birthday suit. For a country that is so sexually frustrated and uptight, I'm always impressed when I round a corner to find a naked woman doing yoga stretches in the middle of the sauna floor.

Anyway, that's all for now!

My January is pretty easy so I'll have a lot of time on my hands, and hopefully there will be some great New Years Eve stories to tell soon too!

^^*

Like a Michael Bay Movie ...

So, I've really been failing on these blogposts. Thanks everyone for the e-mails threatening me with torture if they had to wait any longer! Nevertheless, let's do a recap:

I went to Jeju-do two weeks ago FOR FREE. It's Korea's vacation island and (controversially) its only island. Let's do a rundown, shall we:

- famous for its volcanos and lava rocks and being created by aforementioned KABOOM!
- also famous for wind, water and women -- not because they're wildly bodacious, but for the unusually not-so-young Korean women that freedive for the sea life off the coast; its kinda cool, and something like this:

- Oh, and delicious delicious oranges. Lots and lots of oranges. To the point where they were giving away boxes at a time. (At least no one will suffer from scurvy) Us, disrespectful Westerners, had an orange WAR in a grove. Shame.
- 4/5 of my coteachers did their honeymoon on Jeju-do (hopefully not in December, burr..)
- their own unique dialect -- even our Korean chaperones could barely understand them
- like every. other. island. ever. their main cuisine is fishy fish fish
- looks pretty much like California's channel islands but, in Korean, and half way around the worldThe island was beautiful, and we went to a bunch of museums. VERY Korean museums. Let me elaborate:

Museum #1: reanactment of great moments in history by... beetles, TARANTULAS and other disgusting bugs. My favorite reanactment: Auschwitz using 18th century torture devices.
now, migrating to the next exhibit, none other than an indoor petting zoo? I got to play with fat cats, birds and some adorable hedgehogs. The second I saw the taurantula in the other exhibit, I bolted out so I was lucky enough to get some quality alone time with the hedgehogs. Then, we went to the next exhibit which was just funky mirrors and a hall of mirrors. Had you asked me three months ago if I thought the museum was odd I'd agree, but now I think ... its just Korean.

Museum #2: Love land. To save everyone the awkwardness it was basically just a park of gigantic statues of people having sex. Err...

Museum #3: A museum of rocks. Like I said, Jeju is famous for its lava rocks so this was an entire museum of ... rocks. I could see how someone would appreciate it, but it was practically monsooning and barely pushing 45 degrees, so we just wanted to get in and out.

Museum #4: Museum of cultural ... stuff. Cool in theory, but certainly not the Smithsonian's American History Museum. It was still interesting nevertheless. They were representations (as my friend Paris insists "they're tableaus". Ass.) of, well, important moments in Korean history-- complete with a disco dance floor blaring oldie but goodies like "YMCA" and "Le Freak." My mother would be proud.

We went to an orange grove, walked along the waters/cliff's edge, and climbed the TALLEST MOUNAIN IN THE WORLD (which was really more of a hill, but we're out of shape) to see this old volcano.

All-in-all, a generally good time so if you come to visit (KEN. GEORGE. EDDIE.) I'd recommend it.

This is my last week of school (YAHOO!) so I'll have fun posts later (I promise) about Christmas and New Years in Korea. We're going to Seoul, so lots of debauchery should ensue.

Anyway, I should pretend to "work" -- 안넝히겨세요
^^*

To cut or not to cut ...

So, to keep with the new, experimental, independent Kenisha I'm debating cutting my hair short. Like, really short. Like, Rihanna short:


Anyway, I'm still unclear if it would look good or not. So, yknow, comment and tell me how you feel.

Also, did Thanksgiving in Seoul with the Bemowskis for one of my top 5 bestttt experiences since I've been here (and also grotesquely bittersweet). Nevertheless, I'll post pictures and fun stories later.

Love you all ... VOTE AWAY!
^^