Dr. G would be proud... kinda

So friends, I've hit a roadblock. It's about that time when everyone warned me I'd start getting antsy about Korea. Don't get me wrong, I still love it here, but in an attempt to show you exactly how I'm feeling, I'm gonna lay it all out for you:

Things I hate

1. First and foremost, a lack of US POLITICS. I mean, this is all expected but its really wearing me down. Screw the scandal and intrigue, I just want to have an intellectual conversation about parliamentary procedure and Justice Thomas's inability to properly judge.

2. The inability to find any folded or salt and vinegar potato chips. Anyone who knows me knows when the going gets tough, I function in disaster finish in style with the help of potato goodness. This may seem small, but trust me, when your stress only has one cure which can't be found in an ENTIRE country, you go a little crazy. Let's add: kosher pickles to that list. You can find pickles everywhere, but they're all sweet. They're aside to nearly every dish and inevitably I'll get excited for some pickles and I'm let down. every. single. time. Also: Reeses and champagne.

3. Being a woman. Korea is a wildly chauvinistic and misogynistic country. Don't assume that just because I can give birth that I'm dumber than you or that I care to cook you a meal.

4. Korean food. This is a love/hate, but ask me right now if I'd enjoy some red bean or chili paste and I'd nearly spit in your face. Korean food is delicious, don't get me wrong -- but unless you're going to Seoul, Korean food is your only option. There are a lot of different Korean foods, but I'm dying for some Thai or Ethiopian.

5. Complete lack of planning. Korea is super dynamic to the point and everything is done at the very very very last minute. Makes me want to rip my hair out. As an east-coaster I like to plan, and the more in advance the better! Korea does not plan, and if they do, 9 times out of 10 it will be totally wrong/inaccurate. For instance, last week was my last week of school. On the schedule we were supposed to come in for closing ceremonies on Thursday, but some of my coteachers had said we had no school. I kept asking my main coteacher if this was true, but he couldn't give me a straight answer until Wednesday afternoon at 1pm! How do you not know if we have to come into school the next day? In the same vein, no one told me if I would have any English camps this winter until 4 days before school was over (!) Thanks for the heads up.

6. No manly men. Korean men are loving, generous, kind, amazing and all that good stuff, but I haven't seen a big, burly football-playing man over 6'2'' in about 4 month. I'm starting to forget what they look like.

7. Korean drivers. Hey, maybe it's a good idea that you don't watch TV, or talk on your cell phone, OR, better yet, watch TV on your cell phone... while you drive. Thanks Mr. taxi/bus driver man, because me, and my friends, would rather not die today on this winding road while it monsoons.

Things I love

1. Being a woman. While women don't get too much credit/respect here, they also run this country (any Korean man, however, would tell you otherwise). Korea stands alone among East Asian countries when it comes to women -- females here are known to be strong-willed and independent and its not unusual to see a little old lady working the farming fields while her lazy husband sits back. This isn't because he's putting her to work, but because Korean women are, well, badasses. It's nice to watch women living in a country where they have been oppressed for so long, rising up against The Man. Also, contrary to my feminist nature, sometimes it comes in handy even when its putting me down. For instance, I don't have to be peer pressured into downing massive amounts of soju and staying up until 4am ON A WEEKDAY and I can get away with making foolish mistakes. Thank you small brain.

2. Korean friendships. Koreans take friendship pretty seriously (and love, but that's another story). Most Koreans have few close friends, but when they do they will bend over backwards AND take a bullet for you (include other cliches here). Friendships in America are all well and good, but Koreans are on another level. They really take care of their friends here to a degree that is lacking in most westerners.

3. Korean students. They study 18/7 (literally), yet always have a smile on their face and are happy about life. Ask an American student to study, oh, 5 hours in a WEEK and they would shank you right then and there.

4. NUDITY! Now, we all know that I'm one of the few dozen never nudes (see you at the conference?) but I can still appreciate a good nude. On someone else. Korean are really comfortable with themselves. They aren't self-conscious or uncomfortable in their own skin, and that is something that I think most American can't say. Our new favorite activity is going to a jimjilbang (a traditional Korean bathhouse - more on that later) which is, essentially, hundreds of naked Koreans running around enjoying saunas and hot tubs together. Obviously, they're sex-separated but both myself and a fellow Brit are still too uncomfortable in our own skins to strip down to our birthday suit. For a country that is so sexually frustrated and uptight, I'm always impressed when I round a corner to find a naked woman doing yoga stretches in the middle of the sauna floor.

Anyway, that's all for now!

My January is pretty easy so I'll have a lot of time on my hands, and hopefully there will be some great New Years Eve stories to tell soon too!

^^*

Like a Michael Bay Movie ...

So, I've really been failing on these blogposts. Thanks everyone for the e-mails threatening me with torture if they had to wait any longer! Nevertheless, let's do a recap:

I went to Jeju-do two weeks ago FOR FREE. It's Korea's vacation island and (controversially) its only island. Let's do a rundown, shall we:

- famous for its volcanos and lava rocks and being created by aforementioned KABOOM!
- also famous for wind, water and women -- not because they're wildly bodacious, but for the unusually not-so-young Korean women that freedive for the sea life off the coast; its kinda cool, and something like this:

- Oh, and delicious delicious oranges. Lots and lots of oranges. To the point where they were giving away boxes at a time. (At least no one will suffer from scurvy) Us, disrespectful Westerners, had an orange WAR in a grove. Shame.
- 4/5 of my coteachers did their honeymoon on Jeju-do (hopefully not in December, burr..)
- their own unique dialect -- even our Korean chaperones could barely understand them
- like every. other. island. ever. their main cuisine is fishy fish fish
- looks pretty much like California's channel islands but, in Korean, and half way around the worldThe island was beautiful, and we went to a bunch of museums. VERY Korean museums. Let me elaborate:

Museum #1: reanactment of great moments in history by... beetles, TARANTULAS and other disgusting bugs. My favorite reanactment: Auschwitz using 18th century torture devices.
now, migrating to the next exhibit, none other than an indoor petting zoo? I got to play with fat cats, birds and some adorable hedgehogs. The second I saw the taurantula in the other exhibit, I bolted out so I was lucky enough to get some quality alone time with the hedgehogs. Then, we went to the next exhibit which was just funky mirrors and a hall of mirrors. Had you asked me three months ago if I thought the museum was odd I'd agree, but now I think ... its just Korean.

Museum #2: Love land. To save everyone the awkwardness it was basically just a park of gigantic statues of people having sex. Err...

Museum #3: A museum of rocks. Like I said, Jeju is famous for its lava rocks so this was an entire museum of ... rocks. I could see how someone would appreciate it, but it was practically monsooning and barely pushing 45 degrees, so we just wanted to get in and out.

Museum #4: Museum of cultural ... stuff. Cool in theory, but certainly not the Smithsonian's American History Museum. It was still interesting nevertheless. They were representations (as my friend Paris insists "they're tableaus". Ass.) of, well, important moments in Korean history-- complete with a disco dance floor blaring oldie but goodies like "YMCA" and "Le Freak." My mother would be proud.

We went to an orange grove, walked along the waters/cliff's edge, and climbed the TALLEST MOUNAIN IN THE WORLD (which was really more of a hill, but we're out of shape) to see this old volcano.

All-in-all, a generally good time so if you come to visit (KEN. GEORGE. EDDIE.) I'd recommend it.

This is my last week of school (YAHOO!) so I'll have fun posts later (I promise) about Christmas and New Years in Korea. We're going to Seoul, so lots of debauchery should ensue.

Anyway, I should pretend to "work" -- 안넝히겨세요
^^*

To cut or not to cut ...

So, to keep with the new, experimental, independent Kenisha I'm debating cutting my hair short. Like, really short. Like, Rihanna short:


Anyway, I'm still unclear if it would look good or not. So, yknow, comment and tell me how you feel.

Also, did Thanksgiving in Seoul with the Bemowskis for one of my top 5 bestttt experiences since I've been here (and also grotesquely bittersweet). Nevertheless, I'll post pictures and fun stories later.

Love you all ... VOTE AWAY!
^^

So people can understand my obsession with Korean babies ...

Sparknotes me!

So with a new card reader in tow, I've decided to post some pictures that, well, sum up my last three months here in Korea. I really have to start taking more pictures, but in the meantime ... Enjoy!

Have a headache? Wear a face mask! And this mask, isn't even the coolest one.

Korean Chilies are in literally every dish. No joke. But to make the infamous paste, you need to dry them in the sun first. Nevertheless, this is my street and my neighbors who are the cutest ajumas put our chilies every single morning like clockwork. Also, they're extremely spicy, so when you walk by the chilies drying, beware because you will spontaneously combust with crying.

Some of my 1st grade girls at Sangji. So cute. It took me 12 pictures to get them all to calm down into one shot together. Ah youth.

The first graders at Jejeong (my country school) aka the loves of my lives. They are the cutest, nicest, most amazing kids ever. Shall I go on? Nevertheless, they surprised me on my birthday (after knowing me only two weeks!) with cake and cookies, and drinks and learned to sing Happy Birthday in English for me! Anyway, I'm in love with them, and no one should be surprised if I get off the plane in the US with a smuggled Korean 13 year old.

My very first day at Sangji they made me a banner! How cute! Erik is the boy teaching at the high school on the same campus. The banner, sadly, only stayed up for a week and I didn't get to keep it after it went down.

Dreaded soju. Koreans drink it like water, but trust me, water doesn't give you a hangover liek this. Its fairly repulsive and basically the Korean national drink. Though, it does mix well with soda and fruit-flavored soju tastes like a kiddie drink, but beware - you won't be able to get out of bed the next morning. As my 45-year old coteacher once said,

KT: I'm not feeling too well

Me: What's wrong Mr. Park?

KT: Too much soju, I'm never drinking it again. Lets just watch a movie in class today. I gotta sit down

Sing it to me!

So, something that is wildly popular in Korea, and about 50 times more popular during orientation for foreigners, is 노래방 (Noraebang). Literally it means "singing room" and its where you go to, well, sing. Young and old alike enjoy a good noraebang, and for many Koreans its a chance to show their Charlotte Church, but to foreigners like myself its a chance to scream Journey and dance around in couches. In true Korean style there are two types: (1) regular rooms where you go with your friends and show how tone-deaf you are, and (2) "luxury" or "hostess" rooms where you go with your friends and show how tone-deaf you are while having a lovely, paid lady make you feel good. Not in the sex way, you pervs but in the -- "you're so cute" "I love your voice" "lets hug" kind of way. And, of course, both rooms come with soju and beer. Delicious, and a recipe for disaster. Nevertheless, sit back and enjoy a video. This is my very favorite noraebang video from orientation, just so everyone can be jealous, and maybe it'll become the new "in" thing the other side of the Pacific.

So if you plan on visiting me, I suggest you rest your voice.

Oh, also, what gives?!

Turns out that middle school students do not like Frank Sinatra. I was shocked!

I've been talking him up for some time, and finally played the best song ever made -- "I've Got You Under My Skin" last week for my gifted class and they literally laughed at me. The audacity! After the LSAT that is my next mission: get Korean 16 year olds to think Frank Sinatra is hip.

Any advice?

At this rate, I'll never get a book deal...

Apologies for the lack of postings. I decided to tame the wild LSAT beast which has decided to follow me 7,000 miles to South Korea. Ew. Nevertheless, when I'm not teaching, I'm attempting to slave away because I refuse to let it get me down. Luckily, there are some other English teachers who I can complain about the idiotic differences between 'some' and 'many.' Anyway, come December 7, I'm pretty sure this will be me:

In other news, I've had a revelations since I've been here. Korea is not much different than the US (save for being more technologically advanced, less random mass murders, and a complete lack of ethnic food variety). I find myself missing the US quite a lot, but on Monday I went to "New York, I Love You" to get a piece of American cinema to quench my thirst (not Shia's sexiest moment). Students still don't care about school, and get upset when they fail a test; my female co-teachers still bitch with me about men; and everyone loves Obama -- I could just as well be at home. I've even become accustomed to not knowing what everyone is saying, and I've gotten a lot more laid back with, say, that one taxi driver who decides to take advantage of me by driving the most roundabout way home simply because I don't speak Korean.

Swine flu has taken of South Korea. Everyone is paranoid. Have a headache? Put on a mask. Have some gas? Put on a mask. Have a fever of 99.0? Better go home. My country school closed down two weeks ago because half of the students (see: 15 kids) had fevers. The next week I get there and my co-teacher hands me a mask and says: "You have to wear this. All the kids are infected, so don't get too close." Obviously, I couldn't resist though, and spent my entire lunch having girltalk with my first grade girls. I'm definitely going to get sick. Speaking of, I've absolutely fallen in love with my students. It's only November and I'm already getting sad about eventually leaving them.

Annnnyyyyywayy, last week I went to Seoul/Incheon for Halloween and dressed up at 2ne1 -- a really popular K-pop all-girls band. (Note: they do not celebrate Halloween in Korea. So when a group of 6 Westerns were walking through the street, we got quite a few strange looks).

My students love it, and we've danced to "I Don't Care" (their most popular song) at the beginning of each class week just to celebrate my fabulous Halloween costume.

The next day, we went to the DMZ. Because I mean, cmon, there is nothing scarier than North Korea/Kim Jong Il. It was a lot sadder than I had anticipated though, so that was somewhat of a debbie downer.

Well, Ken says that he sent out a cord for my camera so soon I'll have fabulous pictures from my time here for everyone to see!

In the mean time, go out and find yourself some dakgalbi, my new favorite food. AND... ITS SPICY!

Love/miss you all,

^-^

... and this is why I was a vegetarian for seven years!

So, on my walk home today I stopped by the market. Most stores sell bulgogi (marinated beef) that you just put in a pan and is delicious. Nevertheless, I bought a packet of what I thought was beef when in fact it definitely was not. Now, I'm very open to trying new foods. I've been looking for both live octopus and dog for the last few weeks but have turned up empty. This isn't for lack of trying. I don't mind eating weird food as long as ... its cooked for me. With nearly a decade of 24/7 veggies, I'm still reminded of bambi every time I see a slab of raw meat.

Annnyyyyyway, I get home and a combination of a long day of work, blasting Vampire Weekend and not paying attention I open my package and start cooking the meat. A mere 5 minutes later I realize that its HARD and there are ... toenails. This is, in fact, pigs' feet. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't mind but then I started to freak out. Now my whole apartment smells like pork, and I'm probably going to hold off on the animal for a little bit.

This is just another example of the little things that I take for granted about being at home: being able to read the label.

I'm sure I'll have more thrilling posts later, but for now, I'm going to go watch some Mad Men and try to relax.

Ew.

Cross Country Adventue!

So I had a fabulous weekend in Seoul Busan ! It was Chuseok, Korean thanksgiving, which, for a Korean, means lots of delicious food, visiting gravesites, paying respect to your elders, and much unnecessary stress (sounds pretty much like American thanksgiving, no?). But, for an expat like myself, it means four days sans lesson planning, time to travel, and excessive amounts of soju and noraebang.

Initially, I was going to Seoul with a group from Wonju, to meet up with some other EPIK Daejeon and Gangwon-do people. We got there on Friday, and a mere 20 hours later on Saturday morning my entire group decided to call it quits which left me all alone. My Daejeon friends never let me down, and I ended up finding a place to crash with them at their hostel but I still felt somewhat out of place and abandoned, to say the least. But then, very Superman-esquely, Akta came down and saved the day! We had a 10 minute text messaging exchange the likes of:

Me: This sucks.
Akta: Lets just go to Busan.
Me: Cool, okay! Let's do it.

And less than 45 minutes later, I was on the next KTX (complete with an Asianized version of The Beatles's "Let it Be" on repeat for the first 20 minutes). The KTX, Korea's high-speed train, is, incidentally, my first time on a train - ever. It was like something out of a book, and exactly what I came to Korea for -- complete spontaneity. Busan's break down: 2nd largest city in Korea; 5th largest port city in the world; 3.8 million people and most importantly ... 330 km (or 3.5 hours by speed train) from Seoul. Busan was, essentially, as far away from Seoul as I could go.

Half way through my train ride, and I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about Busan. In fact, I didn't even know it had a subway system until I exited the train station. Luckily, I have some friends who live there who told me the "hoppin errias" to go out in, so we ventured thata way to find a hostel. This was easier said than done. We looked for the infamous love motel symbol -- ♨ -- but couldn't seem to find it anywhere (really? we were by 4 other universities, but knowing my luck...). Our CMC minds finally realized that we should just go to a PCBang (see: Internet cafe, but seedier and filled with pre-pubescent boys playing WOW and Starcraft for hours on end) to find somewhere to, well, sleep. Luckily, we found a place and it turned out not to be too bad, with people that seemed fairly decent.

We went out and did the whole "I'm a 20-something travelling the world" thing where we went to clubs, met random hostel friends, and woke up hungover and nearly missed checkout. But my favorite part of Busan, I must say, was the beach. It reminded me a lot of California, which I miss more and more everyday. We didn't go in because having, oh, 30 minutes to pack wasn't enough time to think to pack a bikini. But I did bring enough books to satisfy myself and a friend, and we sat listening to the ocean, and reading about Frank McCourt's horrendous childhood for one of the most relaxing experiences since I've been here.

Nevertheless, the trip ended up being amazing -- leaving on the drop of a dime, not knowing what to do/where to stay, and I didn't even know how to get home until 2 hours before I found the bus terminal. The entire weekend was exactly what I signed up for -- with a side of delicious Mexican lunch courtesy of a real metropolitan city.

Sadly, though, I have lost the cord that goes from my camera to the computer, so everyone will have to hold out a bit longer before I can proudly display the abundance of photos I took. Soon my friends, soon.

In the meantime, love/miss you all.
xx

I've become quite fond of squatter toilets

After some contemplation I’ve come up with a list of very Korean things that just make zero sense to me.I'm sure that, with time, this list will grow longer. But for now, this is what I've got ...

(1) In the hallway, on the street, in bars, in the cab, I constantly have people coming up to me and speaking/practicing their English. This is great! Sometimes they sound like William Shakespeare, but 9 times out of 10 I can barely understand them so I just smile and nod. Nevertheless, I give them props for trying. But in the classroom, getting most kids to attempt English is next to impossible. The second we leave those four walls I’m bombarded with “hello, how are you?”s– but asking them to say the exact same sentence in class is torture.

(2) Korea is all about respect. Wanna eat lunch alone at your desk and get some work done? Don’t even think about it. It is disrespectful to turn down an invitation AND to eat alone. Wanna wear flip flops? Beware the death stares. Wanna cross the road in front of a cute, Korea grandmother? Not a chance, buck-o. BUT! It is completely and totally acceptable to speak over someone else – whether it’s a teacher or a student – during class. In fact, mid-discipline I could be scolding a student, and she will, without hesitation, turn to her friend and continue talking/giggling. The first time this happened, I was appalled (with good reason) but a fellow coteacher reassured me that this just how they are here.

(3) Korea is super dynamic … and inconsistent. Five minutes late somewhere? Shame on your family. Can’t finish a lesson plan in less than 30 seconds? Fail. Wanna take a sick day because you’re bleeding out of every orifice in your body? No way, Jose. BUT! When it comes to appointments and getting things done, Korea is a total bum. It took me over a month to get internet. We finally set up an appointment for them to come move-in day but alas, they forgot (?). This would certainly never happen in America – and if it did, I’d get a fatty discount on my installation cost. When 5:00pm had come and gone, I told my coteacher that we were still sans internet, but she seemed completely unfazed by it. I went the weekend without internet, and they set up two more “potential” appointments – in other words, they would call my coteacher if they decided to come that day. Both “potential” appointment days came and went. The reason? They wanted to buy me a gift. In Korea this is known as “service.” Korea is all about free stuff – when I bought furniture, I got a free lamp; when I got my washing machine, I got free detergent; even when I bought a bottle of water and a sweet, I got a free lollipop from FamilyMart. This is all well and good, but I don’t want a gift – I want MY INTERNET.

(4) I got yelled at the other day for walking around barefoot in my own house. Koreans are very serious about cleanliness and their floors, but pretty much about nothing else. I saw a handy man wipe down a disgusting moldy spot in the windowsill and then take that same rag to dry off an eating plate. During dinner, it’s a miracle if you can find any kind of napkin and most likely, it’s toilet paper which does nothing. For a culture that is so scared of H1N1, you’d think that hygiene would be higher on their list of priorities.

(5) And lastly, I think Korea may be the most dehydrated country of all time. The Korean drinking menu: milk, instant coffee (yum), soju, and more soju. Nowhere on that list is water. I have eaten in my school's cafeteria every day for the last three weeks, and have not once seen anyone drinking water -- not during or even after a meal. I suppose they just don't get thirsty, but when you're eating some of the spiciest food in the world, its a wonder how they manage. Now, top that off with the fact that its always near 100 degrees, and borderline DC humid and still I'm the only one sweating my ass off, and looking for any form of libation-y goodness. The other day I ate dinner with one of my coteachers and we got delicious kimchi dumpring and I was throwing back the water. She turns to me and says "Waaa! You drink a lot..." I look down at her steel cup and it hasn't even been flipped over yet. Mystery.

And with that, I'm gonna go enjoy 3-4 cups of instant coffee in an attempt to get some form of water in my system.

Love you all,
xx

yayyyy !!!!!

eY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY !!!!! 생일축하합니다!!! eY


I figure, this way, everyone can be sure to wish him a happy birthday !!!

Go Kenisha GO!

So tonight, I kid you not, I broke a taxi driver's door. Only me. 

I got out of the cab, and because its fairly dark out and hard to see, while I'm opening the door a biker runs into the door, denting and breaking it. It wouldn't close, and was squeaking to high heavens. Then the biker just runs away (and of course,  I couldn't exactly chase after him screaming down the street in English). I'm freaking out, but oddly enough the cabbie isn't even that angry. I offer to pay the damages, and get a tow truck and the whole nine yards. After a broken attempt at communication, I finally phone my co-teacher who translates and tells me that cabbie is fine with me just leaving, and I don't owe him anything. SHOCK. Maybe its because my parents are lawyers, or because I'm, well, American but I completely expected to be sued by both the biker AND the cab driver. I was ready to cough up the next six months of paychecks, and eat salt and rice for the next year (weight loss, here I come!). Instead, I went on my merry way, and ate an extravagant dinner with Sam to make up for it!

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. 

[clicks heels three times fast]

Today, a friend of mine told me about the "Black Family Reunion" (by the NCNW) that was held directly next to the anti-Obama/healthcare protests this weekend on The Mall. So DC. Makes me miss home ... 

(apologies that this post has absolutely nothing to do with South Korea)

Paging Dr. Korea

Disclaimer: I am fine now and certain people, KENNETH H. MARKS JR., should not be worried or concerned about me following this post.

So Wednesday morning I woke up, essentially, thinking I had Ebola or … just puking my brains out. I couldn’t keep any food down, and was fairly certain that it was below freezing in my apartment (when in fact, it was pushing 85 degrees). After much hesitation, I called in sick to my office which caused a gigantic stir and all four of my co-teachers were calling every 15 minutes to make sure I was okay. One of them, Ms. Kim, came over to take me to a western-style doctor she knows who, apparently, works magic. Just my luck, the doctor was out of town for a conference, so she turns to me and goes “have you ever been to a oriental clinic?” I said no, and that I would be open to it. (Dun dun dunnnnnn….). [Note: I have no health insurance here yet (shout-out to the, some 250 million Americans sans health insurance) so thank God I have such amazing co-teachers.]

So I get there and no one speaks English. Of course. I tell them I’ve been throwing up, and have a fever so they put me under a gigantic infrared light and put heating pads (that are essentially burning my skin off) on my stomach and feet. This is the easy part.

Next, the doctor comes in. He seems nice enough. He smiles, and attempts to joke around with me, so I thought we would just talk– just like at home. Boy, was I wrong. He starts pushing on random parts on my stomach to find where it hurts (no big deal). Once he’s decided, he does acupuncture on my stomach, hands, legs and feet. (discomfort but bearable). I’ve had acupuncture one other time (thank you Adventure of the Seas) but this was the real deal, not some random Canadian girl who happened to study acupuncture for a year in college to pass the time. After a little bit of twisting and flicking and asking me questions and receiving blank stares, he takes out the needles. At this point, I thought I was done. Ohhhh man, no way.

He asks me to sit up (I almost puke), and then starts feeling on my spine for where it hurts. I can’t see any of what is going on but I’m pretty sure this is how it goes down:

• He puts acupuncture between each vertebra where I tell him it hurts. This, again, is bearable but I could think of about a million other things I’d rather be doing.
  
• Then, I kid you not, they use what feels like a STAPLE GUN OF THOUSANDS OF NEEDLES ON MY SPINE. Not once, but three times. Its really loud and really painful and I had ZERO heads-up. I pretty much break the bones in my co-teachers hand squeezing so hard. A little warning would’ve definitely been nice. From here on out, I’m giving my once-nice doctor the stink eye whenever I can.
• At this point, no only am I in a lot of confusing, and excruciating pain but the way he had me sitting, I thought I was going to throw up at any second. (In fact, I may, or may not, have thrown up my mouth – but that’s another story for another day). Next, they put these suction things on my back (after a Wikipedia search I learned that its known as, well, “suction cupping” and its some ancient medicinal procedure) that suck out all this blood from my spine and back. Again, because I can’t see what’s going on, I’m flipping out. It kinda looked like this: 

The doctor tells me, through broken English (God bless him…), that my blood is very dark which means that I’m pretty sick. He tells me that I am really stressed and that it is messing up my digestive system, and the rest of my body (which explains why I’ve had a perpetual headache for the last week). While insightful, I probably could’ve told him this was the case without enduring 30 minutes of pain, and being left with two half dollar sized blood scars on my back.

All being said and done, they left me with some herbal medicine that I’m to mix in with hot water and drink every few hours and makes me MORE nauseous, but my fever kinda broke so I guess he did something right!

Nevertheless, I have no work because it’s a physical exam day so my co-teacher is taking me to a regular, western doctor at the hospital so hopefully he can help me out more. In the meantime, I’m going to keep watching Sam’s Hugh Grant movie collection and lay under 15 different blankets.

Love and miss you all !! xx

You can call me Ringo

So I am, in fact, alive! I haven't had internet in my apartment so the only place I can get online is at work, and the computers are in all Korean. So, from past experiences, I decided to leave the blog alone until I could sufficiently stalk my friends' wireless and use it at their house. 

I'm in Wonju, South Korea now! Its the largest city in Gangwon-do and its pretty sweet. The location is pretty good -- we're only 1.5 hours from Seoul (about 7,000 won) and about 3.5 hours from Busan (about 15,000 won). 

Sam and I started with about 6-7 other EPIKers who were, incidentally, our friends pre-placement! The city is really good-- not too big and not too small. The people are super nice! For the first four days, I had random people bring me free food everyday. This would probably never happen at home. I have a great apartment, and am moving up on Sept 18 to a big two-bedroom. (Pretty good birthday present, I must say). I'll put up fabulous pictures of my mansion when I move in. 

Nevertheless, I'll give you a run-down of my last week:

I did the whole "you only have to observe" thing last week. EPIK-ers know it well. This sounds all well and good, but in actuality it means reassuring me until the last second that I won't have to teach and then getting to class and instructing me to teach the entire class. Sans materials. Sans preparation. It was borderline hell. Good thing I can go on and on about cute American boys and random k-pop bands  - and thank God I teach at an all girls school. Korea is so goddamn dynamic. 

I helped my co-teacher teach the city's gifted class on Tuesday and ended up teaching TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF US HISTORY. Let me repeat: TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF US HISTORY. (clear?) It was torture. They didn't care. I didn't care. And having prepared only a 15 minute presentation, the appeal of candy slowly dissipated. That was my first day. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln would be ashamed. 

I'm pretty much a Beatle here. Can't say that's really much of a complaint. People stop me on the streets, in school, wherever just to yell "HELLO! NICE TO MEET YOU. I LOVE YOU!" and I've gotten so many "you're so pretty"s that its starting to go my head. I can think of worst things. 

I've gotten some interesting questions in class. The first one is always "do you have a boyfriend?" The answer is depressing for all parties involved. Though, I've started saying that Bi (arguably Korea's sexiest export) is my boyfriend - that usually started a ruckus. 

Other questions have been: 

• Do you shave your armpits? Does it hurt? How often do you do it?
• Who was your first love?
• How was your first kiss?
• What does a kiss feel like?
• Did you take a gun to school?
• Are there gays in America? Have I met them? What were they like?
• How often do I hang out with celebrities? What is Lady Gaga/Rihanna/Ne-Yo/Beyonce like?
• Do I believe in God? Why not? 
• Why are your boobs so big?

Two classes at Sangji Girls Middle School have been lucky enough to hear me sing Celine Dion's "My Hear Will Go On" and another class got to see my attempt at Beyonce's "Single Ladies" dance. Lucky kids! 

Dressing here has been interesting. You can roll into work in jeans, leggings, sheer dresses, and I even saw a teacher last week come in wearing sweatpants. This is totally okay. But, God forbid you should show any shoulder or toes. I wore a knee-length skirt and a blouse that showed my shoulders and I got a "ohh you look so sexy today" (aka: "you are a slut and need to dress more appropriately for work"). I dipped out between classes and changed. Awkward. Week One: Kenisha The Floozy. 

Lunch hour has become the bane of my existence. In Korea everything is done together in groups. So when it comes to lunchtime the teachers go to lunch together (in fact, its rude to reject an invitation). This doesn't sound too bad in theory but then I continually find myself at a table of 5-6 male teachers jabbering away in Korean certainly talking about me. All this in combination with eating food that is far too spicy and attempting not to cry at the table. Hopefully this will get better though. 

Sam and I went to Gangneung yesterday with my co-teacher. (semi not by choice, but again ... the invitation thing). It was actually a really pretty city, and right on the water. We played around on the beach, and ate a gigantic king crab that took a whole 10 minutes to order. We also ate these weird things that were definitely alive and moving on the table. They tasted like boogers. Don't ask how I know that. 

Anyway, I'll leave you with this delicious video so I can go plan a lesson ... or, watch the Sex and the City movie for the 35th (literally.) time this week. 

Ahnyounghi kyesayo!! xx

Insert appropriate greeting for a Korean phone "hello"

Its really interesting the things that bring you back to reality and make you truly homesick. For starters, lets ignore the fact that I've completely succumb to the notion that I won't be taking a shower with a real sized towel for the next year, that I probably won't enjoy a nice stroll down the street with less than 20 stares, and that it took us 15 minutes today to order a sandwich. That was all stuff that I've been fine with so far -- I'm even gotten accustomed to the excessive amount of sugary and spicy food (!). The thing that really did it for me was Ted Kennedy's death today.  I let out a far too loud (see: American) gasp in the middle of the computer lab today after reading CNN, only to be met with about 10 stink eyes. It was just another reminder of how much I miss home and being able to talk with people (who are actually interested) about American politics. Basically, I think I'm starting to get homesick. Weird. 

I'd go into a long schpiel about how fascinating Korean culture is compared to the western world, but I think that's a given and everyone has taken a high school/college religion course to know enough about Confuscianism so I won't waste anyone's time. The few interactions I've had with Koreans have been amazing though fairly nerve wracking since I'm pretty sure that I"m constantly offending everyone (maybe I should stop nodding all the time...). Initially, I was a bit bummed about being in Gangwon-do but the more time I spend here, the more I'm coming to realized that we're going to have an absolutely amazing experience since we will really get to see/experience Korean people and culture. I'm not knocking Busan/Seoul but, I'm pretty excited to figure out buying cold cuts from a Korean butcher as opposed to the local Costco. 

In more exciting news - Yesterday, I bought a Hello Kitty straightening iron after 45 minutes of searching around Lotte Mart (think: Wal-mart but 4 times bigger). Today, we got our Korean cell phones. I'm finally legit. And tomorrow, I meet my new boss and get my placement - so hopefully that's fun! 

Anyway, I'm going to go back to attempting to figure out this Korean phone, and calling Sam incessantly from the bed beside her. 

Would you like fries while chanting?

I'm a big savory food fan (in fact, thanks to a scintillating interview by one Shelby Leighton, all of CMC knows that "I really like salt, and they never have salty food at snack!"), and Korea is not that place for that. Everything they eat is either really sweet, or really spicy. We went to an amazing EPIK event yesterday where we made a massive bowl of bibimbap (a foreign-friendly Korean food with tons of rice, veggies and chili paste), and it proceeded to be far too hot for me.

I only ate three bites because I thought my face was melting off (sorry 681B). 

Anyway, so last night in my drunken stupor (flavored soju is heaven, just ask Sam), we managed to order cheese pizza (no sauce). It came with honey. Finger-lickin goodness. Then, I decided I really wanted a cheeseburger. We finally found one at FamilyMart (!!) but, of course, it can't just be a cheeseburger, it came with cole slaw. I'm not entirely sure why they thought it was a good idea, but as all drunk munchies go, I thought it was amazing. Anyway moral of the story: Koreans love sweet things. All the time. I may go crazy.

In other non-food related news, we went to a Buddhist monastery yesterday - probably one of the coolest things I've ever done. My seven year stint with vegetarianism was based on an experimentation with Buddhism, and I'd like to consider myself a Buddhist in some sense of the word. The trip was so interesting because it wasn't one of those temples in the US that was started in the 1980s, and is a big tourist attraction with the occasional practicing monk. This was legit. I could've stood there for hours just watching. 

Right, well I should get ready for class, where I thoroughly embarrass myself with my stupidity about teaching and the Korean language. Score. 

Water Works

So, I never cry. It was, in fact, getting to the point where I was starting to wonder if I even had tear ducts -- yknow, like those Mystery Diagnosis people on Discovery Health. Well, now I can say that I, in fact, have them. And if there are any other skeptics out there like me, a piece of advice: uproot your life and leave family, friends and everyone you love to go 13 times zones and over 6,000 miles away and you'll get your answer. I was, for the first time, that girl bawling through security, making other TSA agents worry about me and getting teary eyed. I had barely gotten to Korea, and I was already thankful that it had shown me that I wasn't a total emotional dud. 

So, to everyone I love out there -- I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! (and, come visit!)

My bad ...

So, I accidentally deleted my last blog. BUT! to my credit, it wasn't all out of complete ignorance! Being in South Korea the website was, well, in Korean so when I went to update it, I was genius enough to think that if I just clicked around, I would hopefully stumble on the right thing. Well, my bad. I ended up deleting it (I swear, I really did go to college). But no worries!!! This one is just that much better. I'm not entirely sure why its better, but lets just go with that it is.  

But I figured I'd just re-write my single, ronrey post from the last site: 

Why Hello! Anyeong hasaeyo! My name is Kenisha, and I'm about to move to South Korea from outside of Washington, DC. I'll be there for a least a year, teaching English in the public school system. I just graduated from Claremont McKenna College where I have a double degree in Neuroscience and Government. After graduating I really realized that I am far too young, and not nearly mature enough to be deciding what I want to do with the rest of my life. (As is, I usually change my outfit at least three times in one day, so there is no way I'd be able to pick a career for the next fifty years.) So when the opportunity to teach in Korea fell into my lap, I couldn't resist!!

For starters, I'm hardly a globetrotter. I've lived in the same neighborhood, in the same house my entire life and went away to Southern California (a whopping 3,000 miles away from home) for college which, at the time, I considered light years away. I've been out of the country a little more than a handful of times and mostly to Canada, visiting family in the Dominican Republic and once to France. My cultural experiences are sadly limited to drinking French wine and occasionally using Italian handbags. 

There is no doubt in my mind that living in Korea will be a challenge, but that is what I'm looking for-- adventure, risk, novelty, independence (insert other cliche inspiration words here). Since I'm still sitting pretty in basement on Virginia, I can't necessary say that I have a lot of insight into what awaits me, but for now, I should probably start packing for my flight in four days...